


Unintended

by ConnbonMurphy



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Domestic Violence, I highkey regret writing this, M/M, Violence, im so sorry, mite really fucking sad, why do i do this to him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 10:53:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11781663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConnbonMurphy/pseuds/ConnbonMurphy
Summary: "I'll be there as soon as I canBut I'm busy mending broken piecesOf the life I had before"Inspired by the song Unintended by Muse





	Unintended

**Author's Note:**

> there are some massive trigger warnings so you may wanna read the tags

Connor was a complicated person. 

He liked rainy days, he never liked to admit he was wrong, and he liked pineapple on his pizza. 

He lived in life in various shades of grey. No day for could be described as a good or bad day. Some days were better, others weren't.

On better days he would get out of bed, maybe shower if he was feeling up to it. He would greet his boyfriend with a sad smile in their kitchen as he watched him make breakfast. He would sit out in their living room with Evan and they would watch Star Trek episodes until the sun went down.

On other days he would stare at the wall and let the weight of his past drag him down until he drowned in his silent tears. Those were the days that the black out curtains darkened the room and the light switch stayed down. The days where his phone sat somewhere under his pillow dead. Not like it would ring anyways. 

Evan never really knew how to handle the not so better days. He just laid next to his boyfriend and held him tight. Their apartment felt particularly cold on these days, even if the air conditioning wasn't on. 

Then there were the even worse days. Connor would push even out of their room and lock himself in the dark. Evan would pretend not to hear Connors tears and Connor would pretend not to hear Evans. Those days usually ended with Evan sleeping on the couch and Connor unlocking the door the next morning finally letting Evan back into their room and back into him. 

"I'm sorry." He would apologize as he felt Evan lay next to him. 

"It's not your fault." 

It wasn't. Connor wasn't always like this. He used to smile. He used to laugh. Then came Mitch. 

Mitch. 

Y'know connor never really knew what was and wasn't good for him.

Connor had never met anyone like Mitch. 

He was an enigma. An unsolvable riddle. 

They had met at a party at Connors old apartment complex. It was in the basement, Connor was taking a hit when he first saw him. He was _beautiful._

His hair was longer than Connors, it reached past his shoulders midway down his chest. He wore a raggedy beige cardigan that had multiple holes in it. Connor could see the endless trails of tattoos that littered his skin. There were some peaking out of his shirt on his neck and Connor felt the urge to trace every single one of them with his finger. He had scruff on his jaw that Connor wanted to rub his face against and his eyes, his eyes were endless pits of dark brown. Absolutely no color in them. It added to the mystery. 

Mitch was a puzzle that Connor was determined to figure out. 

"Yo, who's that?" Connor nods his head towards Mitch's direction and hands the pipe over to the guy sitting next to him, he thinks his name is Alex. 

Alex looks over with the pipe in his mouth and finishs his hit before answering. 

"That's Mitch. Do yourself a favor and stay as far away from him as possible man. He'll fuck you up." 

Connor never really listened. 

He should have fucking listened. 

He ended up in Mitch's bed that night. And the night after that. _And_ the night after that. 

This went on for a good four months.

"You wanna like, go out for pizza or something." Mitch said after one of their rendezvous. 

Connor felt his heart swell. This is what he wanted. 

"Yeah, sure." 

Connor _really_ should have fucking listened. 

He and Mitch lasted 7 months.

Around month 2 Mitch started to yell and blame a lot on Connor shortly after he had moved in. He would always put him down after fights. Connor just shrugged it off. He suffered from anger issues so why should he judge Mitch for his?

Month 3 was when Mitch slapped him.

He had gotten high and knocked over a cup, shattering it. Mitch said it wouldn't happen again. 

Big fucking suprising when it happened again, not even a week later. 

Connor sat on the floor in tears clutching his cheek. Mitch leaned down and wrapped his arms around him.

"I'm sorry babe but I wouldn't have to if you just did things right." 

 _He's right_ Connor thought _He's right_

He stated leaving bruises around month 4. Bruises that Zoe would find Connor trying to cover up. 

"Connor this isn't right! You need to get out of there!"

"I know what I'm doing, Zoe! I've got it under control!" 

"You obviously don't! You always say that but you never do! You're too fucking stubborn to admit you don't and that you were wrong about him!" Zoe had tears streaming down her face as she raised her voice. 

"Shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up! Leave me alone!" Connor stomped away from his sister. 

"Connor please!"

"Fuck off!" He shouted and pushed her out of his apartment slamming the door.

"Fuck you, Connor! See if I care when you end up dead!" Zoe kicked and pounded at his door.

He lost all contact with his sister at the end of the fourth month. 

He spent the last 3 months in a living hell. But he would never admit that he was wrong. He had it _under control_.

Everything finally came to a stop on a cold Tuesday night. Connor had come home after a rough day at work to find another man on top of Mitch. It was the man he had passed a pipe to 7 months ago. Worst part was he and locked eyes with Mitch and he didn't even push the man off. He didn't even stop thrusting. 

Connor ran out with tears in his eyes. He didn't make a sound as he slammed the doors shut and made his way down to his car and sped away. He was a good 5 miles away from the complex when he realized he had no where to go. He had didn't have any friends and he had ruined things with Zoe.

He was completely alone. 

Connor ended up in front of a pizzeria. The same pizzeria Mitch had taken him to all those months ago. He got out of his car and walked to the front of the small building. The lights of the sign above and street lamps seemed so bright in the dark night. 

He didn't walk inside. He just stood on the side walk and looked in through a window. He broke down in tears. He didn't know how long he was squatted on the floor before he heard a small voice."

"E-e-excuse m-me? A-are you, um is- do you- are you okay?" 

Connor looked up to see blonde haired man.

Evan was nothing like Mitch. Connor didn't know why he expected him to be. Evan was sweet, warm. 

He wasn't cold. He didn't shrug off everything Connor said. 

He held him. He comforted him. He _loved_ him. 

Evan had shown a love and support Mitch had never.

Connor felt like he didn't deserve it. 

He had been so stupid staying with Mitch. He wasted 7 months with that dick and all he got were scars that would never heal.

"How could I do that, Ev? How could I have been _so stupid_? I ruined everything with Zoe. I should have listened to her." Evan didn't need to see connors face to know he was crying.

"It's not your fault Connor. Don't ever blame yourself for what he did to you. Zoe will come around eventually. She just needs time." Evan kissed the back of connors neck. 

"Everyone just needs time to heal." 

Connor wanted to give Evan his all. He didn't want to hold back. He was ready to give Evan more love than he could ever give himself.

He just needed time to mend. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.


End file.
